Monday, January 31, 2005
arrggghhh...at last i been able to touch tiz stupid comp...stupid bro of mine wont let me use....idiot betol...si lokek tu....haizzzz.....soooo bloody bored todae...oh yeah i was firdaus hari firdae nite kat northpoint...he was his frendz....he was waving waving at me..askin where i goin...i sae follow my mum took her spec...he keep following wherever which shop i when....lky irritating seh....but i when to him...talk with hi for awhile..damn it...he still not skoolin seh....wat a watse...go drop out...stupid him....haizzz....tan on sat i suppose stay home..cant go out...coz of my stupid bro lah..never pay his bill until so high tan i kene scold also...stupid asshole....but still i when out juga..coz i noe tat dae my mum goin out with my sis...tan i go out with naza all....wakaka..basterd siak my mum keep kollin naza hp..askin me to go home..koll 2 time tan stop...tan when i eating kat taka...sotong ball...she koll..tat was around 7 plus...dah geram after eating tat food...i when home...tan when reache home...fucker!!!...juz wanna sae tat come home early coz my grandparent come...stupid siak....alamak saper tk bingit...setakat nampak muka ajeh...alamak.....kacau org dgn makan..nk makan pon tk senang...sebok nye org tua...wkakakak...stupi she stupid she.....haizzzz...skoolz todae soo fuckin bored...damn it first time kene mara in class from mr tan....juz coz i was talkin all the way and laughin loudly....wakkakaka...but funni siak...eh i cant remeber wat the funni thing also...wkakaka..stupid me...soo the perluper....arggghhh...i juz cant get use of being retaine!!!!....miss everyone in sec4......miss them sooo much...all my girlfrendz..my ex-girlfriend...my boyfriend....my ex-boyfriend...my scandle..my ex-scandle....my hunsband....my ex-hunsband...my wife...my ex wife...miss them all soo much seh..all tat bloody joke..all tat bullyin teaches...all the kecoh2....haizzzz....damn it ar...stupid me for playin a fool last yr...stupid stupid stupid.....haiyioh...when i feel soo hungry when i typin out seh....juz had my luch seh kat kfc...some eat soo many....meal of batito[did i speel betol??i dont think sooo]...haiyoh......hungry2...damn i gonna find food ar...sooo hungry....wakakka...fat me...fat me...
broken;;
2:17 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
soooo bloody BORED.....slackin at home...doin nuthin....never go skoolz...sooo the mls.....some more my leg pain...haiyoh2..dunno noe y my leg pain also...lky i juz wake up form sleep..tan pain...lky soemone use a wood go beat my leg...ouch...haiyoh....i feel lky i totally hate skoolz...lky no frendz seh...not soo the rapat witha ny of the sec3...onli the retaines.....tan later the sec4 kene stay back every single dae...nobody to go home with...sob..sob..sob...soo the lonely......lonely me...i'm already lonely....damn i reali reali boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored
boredborednoredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored
broken;;
10:44 AM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
i dont noe wat happenin of me....i been feelin veri down lately....i would cry when i'm alone....i juz cant controll my tears....it will start rolling down my cheecks....tan when i in skoolz also the same...especially when the dm ask the sec4 to stand up....damn it i feel lky i was left out.....i reali reali menyesal for wat i did last yr...damn it i noe i should not been playful in class.....and mixing around with the wrong kind of people....i'm gettin bored in skoolz especially during lesson....i miss my ex classmate...i reali dooo...i miss them soo much...i juz cant adapt to tiz new class....they are soo borin....they talk onli to themselves most of the time...not lky 3a2 last yr...and it soo bloody quiet when the teacher is teachin...i feel bored...bored..bored to death...plus i had to learn all the stuff i noe last yr....tats was more bored...and i juz cant face the sec4...i felt lky i was reali left out.....no not juz tat...i been with them for yrs...and sunddenly i wasnt with them anymore....i wish i could go back to the past.....awww...i reali hate skoolz rite now...nobody understand how i feel rite now...they will sae it not a bad thing to be retain....juz work hard comfirm kau pass nye....dah tu or other stuff....but i dont feel tat way...i felt differnt not bout tat but bout lonelyness and the differences...damn i dont noe how t explaine..juz try to understand lah....awwwwww...now i reali cryin...shit lah....damn it i juz felt everything si suck rite now....i hate myself..I REALI REALI HATE MYSELF...I HATE ME..I HATE NUR AZIMAH BINTI ISMAIL....I REALI HATE HER....I HATE ..HATE HATE HER....OH GOD...Y DONT JUZ LET ME DIE....awwwwwwww..i hate me...damn it wish i could go back to the past...
broken;;
3:34 AM
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
first dae of skoolz...i felt veri wierd....sit in differnt class....miss my frendz alot..miss my ex class...reali2 miss them alot...menyesal ako tk belajar betol2....main2 lagi dlm class...amik kau ubat kene retain...damn it fuckin bored seh...especially mly class....and english...haizzz...tan second dae off skoolz more mendak...i feel lky i wanted to shout in the middle of lesson....gosh..i never been to a class isss soooo fuckin quiet when the teacherd is teacher....haizzzz...after skoolz i when out with naza...wait for her at masling mrt...tu pon kene tunggu...igatkan dier cepat...samer juga....after tat take mrt...haizzz...i shout at someone i dont noe...damn it he sooo fuckin irritating siak..follow wat naza sae....i turn and shout at him...mak kau muka terus stoink siak!!...after tat i koll him bapok..suara mcm perumpuan!!....wakkakak...tan we go buy my bag at bugiss....survey every shop..at last i bougth tat bag...big!!...i lky...after tat we go take picz!!..sampai dua kali...the second one was nice...waited for su and her adeq to come...tan we go eat kat kfc...tu part..kecian tgk su...kene bully betol nye rabak...ako lah gi start dulu...shoot ice..abis adeq dier ikut...tan naza letakice kat dier nye seluar..wkakaka..tu part kelakar..but the kelakar is when su ask her adeq to stop shootin and she sae tk nk terlalu best shoot ice..wakkaka...cian siak dier...pastu kite duduk ckp..tan take picz again...wow..tiga kali seh amik dlm satu hari..bestnyee!!.....nie part kecoh rioh kat dlm...mcm2 posing siak...lol...veri fun...tan we took mrt around 7 plus....i reach home at 830.....tan todae i got better with the sec3 ppl...they start talkin to me...suzie ask me to sit beside her...i sit lah....the worst part is when she and her frendz though tat i stead dgn ISKANDAR!!!....mak kau...tu part ako terpekik siak...muka dier...tk yeah sudah...eeee....juz coz ako rapat dgn dier jeh...NO WAY I WITH HIM!!...wakkaa....guess there were some miss understanding...and i think one of them lky him..babtu the mcm kepo2 tanya...aper jeh...tan got assembly...tu part mendak giler....first time had a conversation with the mly guys...si hussin[yeah wrond spell sorie]...nie anyak mulut...suka kacau org..wakakka...but he sort off cutez..wakkaka....tan after assembly....me su and naza gi kfc...accually nk balikz..tan feel lky soo hungry we go eat lah.....tan kite berbual about 1 hr plus gitu...gerek2....all the gerl stuff and some gossip...and skoolz....
broken;;
4:35 AM
Broken
Doll
by aZimAh
I am a broken
doll,
Average I am no
more,
On the out side I am
perfection,
But
my heart is bruised and sore.
They call me
broken doll,
Because of my
broken heart,
My heart
broke long
ago,
And now it’s in
two parts.
The only visible sign of
hurt,
Is the sadness in
my eyes,
No one
knows how I feel,
My
smile is my disguise.
I am
a porcelain doll,
With a
very broken heart,
My
thoughts were weapons that
broke it,
Now
it’s in two parts.
So
sweet looking on the
outside,
But inside angry
and sore,
Why must I
watch such
tragedy,
Everyday hour by
hour.
Placed here on this
window sill,
Looking
down on the city below,
I see
all the madness and
misfortune,
The city has
for show.
Old
ladies being muggers and
battered,
Children
being shot,
Men
sleeping in cardboard
boxes,
In
empty parking
lots.
Inside my tears are
falling,
Continuously
non-stop,
My broken
heart gets heavier,
With
every single drop.
Inside my
broken
heart,
Is swimming in my
tears,
For its thinking
of the tragedy,
I’ve
witnessed through the
years.
I
am a broken
doll,
Who’ll be broken ever
more,
On
the outside I am
perfection,
But my heart is
bruised and sore.
aZimAh